My wife’s grandfather, Roger Johnson, could build or repair anything. He built, plumbed, and wired his own house.

But, he had trouble hanging up his cap.

For decades Roger hung his cap on the same nail in the same place. Then, one summer the nail fell out. There was nothing to hang his cap on.

But, he still had the habit.
Every morning, Roger would walk into the workshop and try to hang up his cap. But, no nail. And the cap hit the ground.

What makes habits so hard to change?
Momentum.

There’s a lot of momentum behind your habitual behaviors.
Like Roger, you’ve been hanging your cap on the same nail for a long time.
Okay. Maybe you don’t wear a cap.
But, your habits of action – of communicating, making decisions, and doing things – have a lot of momentum behind them.

The momentum moves you along.
And for the most part it works fine. Much of what you do well runs on autopilot. This allows you to move along at a brisk pace. And without the need thinking.
This works fine . . . until it doesn’t.

Then being on autopilot is a liability.
The cap hits the ground. The project unravels. The meeting turns south.
And you need to change direction. You need to change your behavior.
Changing behavior requires getting out of autopilot mode.
The problem is changing feels uncomfortable and unnatural.

Familiar autopilot behaviors feel natural.
Doing things differently is awkward.
And in the beginning, you’re clumsy.
Nobody likes being clumsy
Clumsy just doesn’t seem professional.
It can be frustrating to feel like you’re a beginner again.
Particularly, if your well-oiled pattern of behavior is what allowed you to succeed in the past.

It’s just that what worked in the past – isn’t working anymore
Here are two examples of what it feels like to change behavior and overcome the momentum of the past:

Example #1: A client of mine, Sam, is a master at facilitating group consensus. For many years, he successfully relied on this skill. He rarely had to assert himself. He always facilitated common ground.

But, now he’s the CEO of an organization with many divisions – each competing for scarce resources. It’s like herding cats. He needs to make tough choices. Assert his opinion. And disappoint some people.

This is new ground for him. He knows it’s necessary – but that doesn’t stop him from feeling uncomfortable.

Example #2: Another client, Blair, has advanced through the ranks by being outspoken critic of the “status quo” and challenging authority.
But, now he’s been promoted to general manager. He can’t act like an outspoken critic. He is the authority. He needs to articulate a vision that engages and unites people in a common direction.

And as excited as he is by the new role – changing his behavior isn’t easy.

The momentum of the past keeps pushing you in the direction of your habits
Whatever habits of action, speech, and thinking have helped you succeed – will tend to persist even after those habits have clearly outlived their usefulness.
It’s easy to keep doing what’s “natural” even when it stops working. And even if you logically know better.

Logic isn’t powerful enough to overcome the force of momentum.
Even when you “know” that you need to change – the momentum will push you into repeating the patterns of the past.
And that can be frustrating. Particularly, when logic and “knowing” has helped you solve so many other problems in your work.

When logic doesn’t work – most of us try harder and use our will power to force the change.

Will power isn’t powerful enough, either.
Relying on will power to change is like trying to hold your breath – forever.
You can hold your breath for a while. But, not for long. While you’re holding your breath, the pressure builds. Until it bursts.
It’s the same with will power.

Will power can keep things under control for the short term – but will not establish you in a new pattern of behavior.
Let’s say you have the habit of talking a lot in meetings. And you realize your talking is dominating the conversation. So, you decide to keep quiet and let others talk.
You go to the next meeting. Sit down and using will power – bite your tongue. People start talking. You disagree but keep quiet. You bite your tongue a little harder.

But, soon you’ll feel the tension building.
And you’ll either bite through your tongue or (and this is more likely) resume your old habit of talking and dominating the conversation again.
Will power can’t change behavior.
So, what works?

What works is using the same force that is keeping us trapped in the old pattern:
Momentum.

More on how to build momentum in Part 2.

Related Posts:

• What’s Going on in Your Leadership Brain? (video)
• Do You Want People to be More Accountable?
• Why it’s better to not know (than know)
• Back away from the desk (and nobody gets hurt)
• Why you have to tame your lizard brain