Before I reached for that third piece of sweet potato pie, I paused. My hand floated in the air, and I turned my attention to my stomach. How was my stomach feeling? Was the impulse to grab another piece of pie arising from hunger? Not really. My stomach was full and satisfied. So, I withdrew my hand. And enjoyed the sense of fullness and well-being that was already present.

This was not a matter of will power.
I didn’t have to force my hand back into my lap. It was a matter of awareness. Reaching for the next piece of pie was an action of habit not hunger. By pausing momentarily and become mindfully aware, I naturally changed what I was going to do.

Full awareness is the foundation for wise action.
Most of our days are spent in the fast-forward grip of deadlines, demands, and to-do lists. Doing stuff and getting stuff done is necessary, clearly, to any thriving organization so much so that having a “bias for action” has become an honored leadership principle.

But, action without awareness is just habit.
And habits have a way of becoming outmoded. Habitual thoughts and beliefs grow stale. Habitual ways of interacting with customers stop working. Habitual ways of communicating lose meaning.

Without that pause for awareness – the habit will just continue.
It’s on autopilot. The habitual way of acting doesn’t really require your mindful participation. In fact, habits thrive when mindful awareness is asleep.
Pausing helps.
My friend and master coach Marion Baker refers to this practice of mindful pausing as “hitting the pause button.”
It’s a great metaphor and an even better practice. When is a good time to hit the pause button?

When you’re listening to a colleague with whom you regularly disagree.
Pause and be mindful of the tensions that are forming in your body. Instead of releasing them through arguing, take three slow breaths. Ask yourself – what can you do right now to promote the common good?

When you’ve just read the latest email in an on-going organizational drama and you’re about to compose your own lethal response.
Pause. Be aware of the angry thoughts, the outraged internal dialogue, and the bodily tensions that have been triggered. Imagine them all as waves in a tempest-tossed sea. And watch your breath for 30 seconds (which may seem like an eternity for the first 10 seconds) as the waves subside.

This pausing practice is a kind of meditation-in-action.
A way of calling forth awareness when you need it most – before you react in ways that may be destructive. If this sounds a bit woo-woo, tell it to the U.S. Marines.

The Marines don’t call it meditation – they call it “tactical patience.”
It’s a state of mind that needs to be cultivated particularly by troops who are deployed to hot spots like Iraq and Afghanistan. In these life-or-death situations action without awareness can have far reaching and devastating consequences. Developing the new habit of “tactical patience” takes lots of practice.

We have it a lot easier than the troops.
We’re not facing split-second life-threatening decisions (at least most of us aren’t.) But, we can still react habitually and add fuel to dysfunctional organizational fires. So, we need to practice tactical patience. If the Marines can invest the time, we’ve got no excuses.

Rather than react . . . pause.
Be aware of your tensions and your intentions.
Consider whether your next action will be motivated by emotions like anger, frustration, fear, sadness etc. Or by your core values.
Take a few more breaths.
Because you probably don’t need that third piece of pie after all.

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