The Biggest Communication Mistake

The biggest communication mistake is when you believe that the meaning of your communication is in the words you say, write, or project.

It’s not. The meaning of your communication is in the response you get.

Some examples:

You: tell a joke.
They: don’t laugh.
Meaning: it’s not funny.

You: share your leadership vision.
They: yawn.
Meaning: it’s not compelling.

You: pitch your project.
They: ignore you.
Meaning: it’s not interesting.

Pay attention to their response.

Become a student of their response. And start tweaking your communication until you get the response you want.

Where in your life/work is your communication falling flat, blowing up, going awry?

What’s the response you’re getting? What’s the response you want?

What can you tweak? Here are some things to consider:

Words
Approach
Tone
Tactic
Timing
Angle
Examples
Illustrations

Because, if you don’t do something different – you’ll keep getting the yawns, the arguments, the blank stares.

So what should you tweak?

The real answer is – you don’t know. And I don’t know. But, you can learn. By becoming more interested in how they think, feel, and make sense of their world than in selling them on your point of view.

Get curious about them.

Ask more questions. (Real questions. Ones that open you up to learning about what they think and feel).

You don’t have to believe in their point of view. Or buy into their approach. But, you have to understand and value it enough to connect with it – and them.

Focus on finding the connection point.

What’s the connection point? It’s the place where you authentically appreciate what matters most to them. When you’ve found that point – you’ve freed yourself from the biggest communication mistake.