Not too tight, Not too loose

Great performance in sports, the arts, at work or in daily life comes about when you balance effort and effortlessness. You need effort, focused, intentional action to achieve any kind of result, whether it’s cooking a meal, writing a report, or making a presentation.

But, too much effort, while it may get the job done, rarely produces great results.

Too much effort tightens you up. Your capacity to respond flexibly and readjust to the demands of the moment is hampered when you’re fixated on following your plan or even achieving a specific outcome.

Sometimes what appears as obstacles aren’t really in your way.

Whether it’s a bottleneck in the system or an objection to the logic of your presentation from a colleague, these obstacles may not be in your way at all. They may be signposts not barriers. They’re pointing you in new directions that seem “off plan” but will, in fact, lead you to something better than your highly focused, effortful mind can envision.

So, openness is as necessary as having a laser focus.

Being loose, flexible, and adaptive is as necessary as being decisive, determined and deliberate. Rather than developing a watertight argument and perspective, let your attention be more porous so that ideas, insights, and information can leak into your mind and enrich your understanding in unpredictable ways.

But too much openness doesn’t work well, either.

It disperses attention and causes you to lose focus. In the words of Virginia Gildersleeve, “Keep an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.”

Effort and effortlessness, focus and openness, need each other.

Great results and breakthrough performance arise when the balance is right. Getting the balance right is, as the Buddha suggested, like tuning a stringed instrument. Too tight and it’s out of tune. Too loose, the same problem.

But, rather than tuning a guitar, you need to tune your body/mind.

Because, your body/mind is an instrument.

It’s the instrument you play every day of your life. It’s precious and irreplaceable. And it needs to be kept in tune.

When situations, projects, relationships in your world are not working well, it’s likely that your instrument is out of tune.

You’re either pushing too hard or not being engaged enough. You’re either over-focused on doing it one way or open to so many alternatives that the path of action is obscured.

You’re being too tight or too loose.

And you need to re-tune.

Here’s how: Think about a situation where you’re not getting desired results, where you’re frustrated by the progress or the interpersonal dynamics.

Now consider: Do you need to tighten up? Or loosen up?

Have you been straining to control the situation, insisting, or stonewalling? Those are examples of being too tight. Or have you been avoiding the tough conversation, smoothing over differences or sidestepping difficult decisions? Those are ways of being too loose.

To get yourself back in tune, you need to either tighten up or loosen up.

Which is it? Once you’ve decided you can begin to re-tune your mind/body by:

Sitting in a comfortable position.
Closing your eyes.
Taking some deep breathes to release excess tension.
And feel the quality that you need – of more tightness or more looseness – spreading through your nervous system.
Get a sense of what being in tune – not to loose, not too tight - feels like in your body. Then visualize yourself stepping into the situation in a way that is “tuned up”. Picture yourself taking that “tuned up ” action.
Feel what it’s like to act in this way.
Finally, let go of the visualization and experience the visceral quality of being neither too tight nor too loose.

For a guided audio version of this meditation

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