“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?”

– Rumi

Have you every seen a rock tumbler in action?

You throw in a few rough stones and they get tumbled around and around in coarse sand.

Rub, rub, rub the sand chips away at the rough edges.

Then, the coarse sand is replaced with finer sand. And the tumbling begins again. It’s a process of repeated refinement and repetitive tumbling that eventually turns the rough stone into a polished gem.

That’s how Life teaches us.

It starts off bringing us coarse lessons. Because our edges (our learning edges) are rough. We don’t notice the subtle lessons. They go right by. We need something coarse to get our attention.

But, if you pay attention – you’ll be polished. And as you’re polished, your lessons get more refined.

Rumi is reminding you (and all of us) to appreciate the rubs that Life brings.

Don’t push them away or ignore them. Let them in. To take the tumbling to heart. It’s not a punishment.

It’s a process of learning and refinement.

Those irritating people and situations – they’re the sand Life is tumbling you around in.

Why? To smooth the rough edges.

So . . .

Who are the coarse people that are rubbing you the “wrong” way?

What rough edges – in you – are they irritating?

What inner shifts in attitude would convert the irritation into polishing?

Open almost any magazine and you can find a photograph of a person meditating. The image is usually part of an advertisement for a hotel, spa, or beauty product. But, meditation is also being used to hawk insurance, breakfast cereals, and vitamins.

There’s money in sitting still (or at least in the promise of serenity).

In the laboratories other images are being revealed.

Breakthroughs in brain imaging technology have allowed scientists to look directly at the brains of meditating subjects. What they see is compelling. Because, meditation changes the brain – in good ways. People who practice meditation literally re-wire their brains in ways that promote clarity, creativity, empathy, and self-awareness.

Lots of folks - particularly in the context of leadership development - consider meditation touchy-feely. By which they mean it doesn’t make any tangible difference. That it’s ephemeral and purely subjective. The data disagrees.

Meditation gets all the way down to the hard wiring of your brain.

In the words of psycho-neurologist Rick Hanson Ph.D. “you can use your mind to change your brain”. When the hard-wiring changes, behavioral change accelerates.

But, despite the overwhelming research data on it’s benefits, meditation is rarely considered a tool for leadership development.

My sense, after 40 years of practicing and teaching meditation and 25 years of working with leaders is that it’s a missing key to accelerating leadership development.

So, don’t let all those advertising images deceive you.

Meditation isn’t about escaping into a permanent spa vacation (as appealing as that can be some days). It’s a powerful inner technology that expands your capacity to function fully and effectively at work and in life.

I’ve written a manifesto on how meditation accelerates leadership development. You can get a copy by going to this link:

meditation manifesto

Let me know what you think.

Let’s  figure out how to bring the power of this inner technology to more leaders. (If you know other people who would be interested in this conversation - please forward them this post.)

• What do you think about meditation and leadership?
• What about it makes sense?
• What are your concerns, doubts, questions?

My mother, Roslyn, and my Aunt Sena had a falling out in 1968. They stopped speaking to each other. My mother died in 2006. They never reconciled.

It’s now 2010 and Sena’s in a nursing home near my house. Her memory is dissolving away. Yet, when I say my mother’s name, Sena still scowls.

She doesn’t remember what happened all those years ago.

The details of the events have faded from memory. But, the emotional momentum continues. It’s an odd consequence of dementia - she’s still angry but can’t say why. The reaction is there, but for no known reason.

Organizations can have this kind of dementia, too.

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When I was in my twenties and recently married, my father-in-law invited me to join him for a Sunday morning golf game. I’d never played a round of golf. I’d done some putting on a putting green when I was twelve. How could I say no?

I stepped up to the first tee.

I swung. The ball lifted into the sky forming a perfect arc, bounced and rolled within a few feet of the green. I putted onto the green. And with the next putt – was in the hole. Par!!

My father-in-law shook his head, “That meditation stuff must really work.”

“Ha!.” I thought. “That was amazing. He’s right. I’m going to meditate my way through the course.”

It took me sixteen strokes to complete the next hole.

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The other day I was in the library and I saw someone. Someone I really didn’t want to talk to. So, I slid behind the nearest bookshelf and quickly exited the building. Not the most mature or neighborly behavior. But, I really wanted to avoid this person.

Most people do the same thing when it comes to conflict.

They avoid it. Hide from it. Duck behind a bookshelf, a computer, a cell phone, a deadline – anything to avoid the conflict.

They just don’t want to go through the upheaval, drama, blood and guts. Better to side step the issue. Make nice. Or covertly get what you want anyway by working around, instead of confronting, the other person.

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