When my wife was a child, her family called her Debbie.

In her thirties she returned to her full given name of Deborah. The old name no longer fit who she had become and who she was becoming. Her re-naming was an act of self-identification that heralded a new relationship with the world.

All wisdom traditions recognize the power of names.

When a young man or woman is initiated into adulthood, they receive a new name. When a monk or yogi is initiated into a holy order – a new name is given.

This new name heralds a new spiritual identity and opens the door to a new way of being in the world.

This naming process happens at work, as well.

A client that I’ve worked with for many years has changed the name of the Personnel, Human Resources, Human Capital department several times. Each change reflecting a new way of thinking about and presenting the work of that department.

Many years ago, Ken Blanchard changes his title from CEO to CSO (Chief Spiritual Officer) to reflect a new way of seeing and being in the world,

What’s the name you give to what you do? What’s your title?

If you work in an organization, you may not have much influence over your title.

But, you can still choose to name your work. You can still give yourself a “hidden” or “inner” title. A title that does more than simply position you on the organization chart. You can choose a title, a name that supports your calling.

On the org chart you may have the title of senior analyst, manager, or something equally prosaic.

But, that’s simply the organizational title of the job you’re doing.

You can give yourself another title. One that reflect, more completely, the unique perspectives and gifts that you bring to the job. This title might not be on your business card. But, it can be on your heart and in your mind.

It’s an inner title.

An esoteric title that reminds you of your calling. Such an inner title reminds you that:

• Doing your job is important and honorable, it’s not enough.
• Fulfilling the duties that your organizational title describes is necessary but not sufficient.
• To express your calling, to give your unique gifts, you need to go beyond the sterile definition of the official title.

Your official title is designed to limit your influence.

It describes what you do in org-chart lingo. Which is useful for fitting what you do into the org chart. It’s good for writing a job description. It’s a reminder to stay inside the lines.

Having an inner title is another kind of reminder.

It reminds you of your calling. And that you, and you alone, have the power to name and claim that calling. But it also reminds you of this:

• You don’t have to quit or abandon your “official” job to live your calling.
• Your organizationally defined job offers you a context through which you can express your gifts and pursue your calling.
• It gives you a platform upon which you can perform the magic that is yours alone to perform.

Your job title is just a starting point.

It’s a platform not a prison. Though many people don’t know this. And they become hypnotized by the title. They start believing and acting as though the title defines what they do. If you’re not paying attention, it can become a prison. And then your soul slowly starts to whither. But, it doesn’t have to.

For many entrepreneurs the situation is actually worse.

They give themselves these incredibly boring, soul-withering titles in an attempt to appear “professional”. They put themselves in prison.

Fortunately, there is a key that gets you out of prison.

The key is . . . a name. A powerful ,new name that:

• Evokes the energy of your deeper calling.
• Wakes up your soul.
• Thrills you and causes you to tremble.

A name that calls you forth – into a new way of seeing and a new way of being.

Maybe it’s time to re-name what you do.

To give your work a new, more powerful name.

So, if you were to give a new name to your work, what would it be?

Once upon a time, there was a hand. The hand lived a busy and fulfilling life. Typing. Playing the guitar. Digging in the garden.

Then one day, the hand was hungry.

So, the hand went into the kitchen and grabbed an apple. The hand squeezed the apple. But, that didn’t take away its hunger. The hand opened a yogurt container and plunged in. Still hungry. Really hungry.

In the midst of it’s hunger, the hand heard a voice.

The voice said, “Feed me and you shall be fed.”

“Who’s that?” asked the hand. Looking up, the hand saw that it was the mouth talking.

The mouth smiled and said, “If you feed me, you’ll be fed.”

The hand wasn’t sure. It didn’t want to just give away its food and get nothing in return. Using its thumb and index finger, the hand opened up the mouth and peered in.

“I see,” said the hand, “It’s the tongue and the teeth talking. You just want the food for yourself. I’m not going to get ripped off again.”

The hand pulled away from the mouth and grabbed a croissant.

The almond pasted oozed out. But, the hand was still hungry. Weak and hungry.

“It simple,” said the mouth, “if you feed me, you’ll be fed.”

Seeing no other options, the hand reached up and put the rest of the croissant into the mouth. The food disappeared inside. The mouth smiled as it chewed and swallowed. The hand was livid.

“I was right,” the hand cursed, “the mouth just wanted all the food for itself.”

Then, something strange happened.

The hand felt a surge of energy. Of strength, And vitality. The hand looked up at the mouth. “It’s true isn’t it? If I feed you, I’m fed.”

“Yes,” the mouth said, smiling, “And, by the way, do you have any more of those delicious croissants?”

“Certainly.” The hand smiled back.

Commentary:

Hand = you

Mouth = your team

Morale = Feed your team and you’ll be fed.

Click here to view the embedded video.

One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.

– C.G. Jung

Everyone has a shadow.

A part of the psyche, the soul, that is unacknowledged, disowned, and unaccepted.

You can’t really get rid of the shadow. But, you can deny it. This denial causes those disowned aspects of the self to appear “out there” in the world and particularly in other people. Those qualities that you react to most strongly in others – both weaknesses and strengths – are clues to what lies within your own shadow.

Who is a person that triggers strong emotional reactions in you?

What is it about this person that you “can’t stand”? How are you like that?

Or that you “deeply admire”? How are you like that?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Here’s a check list to help you become a better student of your inner obstacles.
Think about a current “learning edge” challenge. A situation where outer challenges and inner challenges meet. One that tends to push your buttons and activate your reactivity.
Then, review the list below and notice which of the phrases most closely reflects your reactive patterns.

Inner Obstacles List

Safety
“Stay out of trouble.”
• Play it safe
• Keep a low profile
• Remain quiet in meetings
• Hesitate to make decisions.
• Avoid taking a public stand
• Shift responsibilities either up or down the organization.
• Criticize others from a distance

Approval
“Peace at any price.”
• Say “yes” when you want to say “no”
• Be a “do gooder”.
• Play by the rules.
• Act to please others.
• Look the other way when things go wrong.
• Smooth over conflict and controversy.
• Delay action until it is clear what others’ need or want.

Control
“Winning isn’t everything – it is the only thing.”

• Seek to “win”, be better than others – even perfect.
• Become angry, irritable, defensive when challenged.
• Tend to make sarcastic comments.
• Fear failure.
• Limit communication to what others “need to know”.
• Become upset by minor imperfections in work output.
• Delegate with lots of detail – micromanage.

Which Inner Obstacles are you most familiar with?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

How do these Inner Obstacles impact you and those you work with?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Imagine a room filled with pianos. You go up to one piano and play a “C” chord. As you strike the keys the sound fills the room. Your piano is vibrating “C”. But, it’s not alone. If you look inside all the other pianos, you find that they too are vibrating a “C” chord. You didn’t have to touch their keys. Because, all the “C” strings on all the pianos in the room are humming in sympathetic resonance.

Your nervous system is “wired” like a piano.

Your nervous system is wired for sympathetic resonance. Like a piano, your “inner strings” vibrate in resonance with the emotional states of those around you. You’re highly attuned to the emotional chords that are vibrating around you. The same goes for all the people you interact with at work and at home. Everyone is in sympathetic resonance with each other.

Your nervous system is always vibrating in response to the emotional “chords” around you.

It’s an innate capacity, part of your evolutionary inheritance. You don’t have to develop this sympathetic resonance. It’s built in and for the most part operates unconsciously.

In other words, your emotions aren’t strictly personal.

Your emotions are activated and shaped by the emotional climate around you. And the less you are aware of how the emotional climate is influencing you – the more it controls your moods, thoughts, and actions.

Another word for emotional climate is culture.

The collective emotional climate of your workplace, team, and family is its culture.  Culture is the emotional climate – of engagement or despair, energy or cynicism, love or fear – that determines how people will think, communicate, and take action together.

If you improve, enhance, harmonize the emotional climate – you transform a team, family, or organization. But, how can you influence the emotional climate or culture in which you are immersed?

You influence culture by choosing your “chord”

Rather than acting only as a passive responder to the emotions that are vibrating around you, actively generate a feeling tone of your choosing. This takes awareness and practice.

Start with awareness.

Pay attention to the ways in which your nervous system responds to the emotional chords around you.

When you’re in a meeting or conversation with people who are anxious – be aware of your nervous system’s sympathetic resonance. How does anxiety show up in your body? Where is it located? Pay attention to the shifting emotional resonance within your body as it responds to the emotional climate around you. Do this with the attitude of an interested observer.

Your nervous system will provide you with precise information about the emotional climate – the culture – around you.

As the mood of the meeting shifts, so too will the state of your nervous system. Be aware of the shifts without identifying with them. Notice how your nervous system calibrates to the subtle emotional changes. And don’t personalize what you’re feeling.

Consciously sense the sympathetic resonance without identifying the emotions as “me”. Don’t take it personally. Don’t get swept away. But, do be aware. The emotions resonating through your nervous system provide you with information about the inner mood of the group, team, and people you are surrounded by. Once you are aware of the underlying emotional chord surrounding you, you’re ready to start intentionally generating a feeling tone of your choosing.

How do you generate a feeling tone?

First determine what’s needed or missing in the culture you’re immersed in.

Ask yourself:

• What feeling is needed in this meeting, conversation, culture, right now?
• What feeling tone that is missing in this conversation, meeting, team, or culture?

Trust your immediate response.

These aren’t analytical questions. You don’t have to think hard to figure out what’s needed. Just let your nervous system provide the answer. Don’t over think this part of the process.

When you are aware of what’s needed or missing – begin generating that feeling tone within your own mind/body. Take the emotional lead to resonate a new feeling tone into the culture.

Strike your “chord” knowing that the other bodies in the room will respond – it’s how they’re wired!

Here are the four steps to generating an intentional feeling tone:

Let’s say that you want to bring the feeling of “trust” into the room, conversation, culture.

1) Shift your attention inward.

First, bring your attention from the outer environment into your body. Feel your body and the natural rhythm of your breath.

Note: You can do this all with your eyes open without assuming any special posture or position. This is a real-time meditation that you can do this during any meeting or conversation.

2) Activate a “feeling tone” memory.

Recall a time in your life when you experienced deep trust. This memory can be from any time in your life and any context. Just recall that time in a way that brings it alive in your nervous system.

3) Breathe it in.

When you have that memory actively  in mind – take a comfortable, slow, long in-breath. As your breath flows into your body, mentally say the word “trust”. Feel the quality of “trust” entering your body through the breath.

4) Let it spread and circulate.

As you exhale sense the feeling tone of “trust” spreading through your nervous system. Feel it flowing down your arms and legs and traveling up and down your spine.

Repeat these two steps – connecting to the feeling tone “trust” as you inhale and letting that quality spread through your nervous system as you exhale. Infuse your whole body with the feeling chord of your choosing.

Enjoy knowing that you are contributing to the transformation and enhancement of the culture – through infusing it with this positive emotional tone.

Remember, you don’t have to say or do anything overtly dramatic to activate the mechanism of sympathetic resonance.

The inner shifts that you make within your consciousness are powerful. Other peoples’ nervous systems feel the difference. Even if they don’t exactly know why.

Let the feeling tone that you’re feeling infuse your thoughts, words, and actions.

When it’s time for you to speak and act, allow your words and actions to arise naturally from the inner state that you’ve chosen.

You don’t have to be a passive piano – vibrating to the emotions of others. You can influence the culture you’re part of by striking an inner chord and letting sympathetic resonance do the rest.

Photo credit: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

Several years ago, my son’s friend Torrey Meister was visiting from Hawaii. He had this novelty item:  Big Mouth Billy, a foot-long bass attached to a faux wooden plaque.

Like something a fisherman might mount on the wall. Except this trout could sing.

There was a button on the plaque.

When you pushed the button, the fish wagged its tail opened its mouth to sing, “Take me to the river . . . ” At first it was funny to watch the mechanical fish and groove along with the song. But, soon it was boring, tiring and irritating. We’re all a bit like that plastic fish.

We’ve all got buttons.

Not red plastic ones. Human buttons are psychological and emotional. And unlike the plastic fish, which had one button, humans have many.

Each button is linked to a pattern of thought, emotion, speech, and action.

When one of your buttons gets pushed, rather than sing, “Take me to the river . . . “, you launch into your own equally repetitive pattern. You’re not alone in this. Everyone you work with has buttons. But, if you’re in a leadership role – a boss role – everyone knows about your buttons.

People pay attention to the boss’s buttons.

They avoid bringing up topics (no matter how important) or sharing information (no matter how relevant) that push those buttons. Because, they know what will happen when a button gets pushed – that you’ll react, mechanically, and predictably. And they’re tired of that song.

So, rather than deal with the reactivity that invariably follows a button pushing, they withhold their ideas, avoid the issues, and suppress their opinions.

If you want to exercise leadership – you can’t afford to ignore your own buttons.

You need to become a better student of your own buttons: what pushes them and what happens when they’re pushed.

The less you know about your buttons, the more frequently they will be pushed.

If you don’t know what your buttons are, and how you react when they’re pushed, rest assured, they are being pushed more often than you can imagine.

And remember, the more frequently your buttons are pushed, the more mechanical, reactive, and predictable you become. And, the less capable you are of having rich, creative, and transforming conversations. Because you can’t have a breakthrough conversation when you’re in mechanical mode.

Whenever one of your buttons gets pushed – a reactive pattern kicks into gear.

Not a random reactive pattern – a specific one. Because reactive patterns aren’t inventive, they’re repetitive, mechanical. When you’re in the grips of a reactive pattern you will think the thoughts, feel the emotions, speak the words, and engage in the behaviors that constitute that reactive pattern.

The reactive pattern is in the drivers seat.

You’re a passenger – passive at best, unaware at worst – while the reactive pattern drives on.

And you’re reactivity triggers reactivity in others.

It’s how we’re neurologically wired. It’s human nature. When an important (powerful) person in your world goes reactive, most people around him/her will also react. It’s like a domino effect. One person’s reactivity precipitates a chorus of reactivity.

Of course, the reverse is also true.

As you unwire your own reactivity buttons and maintain a state of balanced (or semi-balanced) presence, you trigger complementary states of balance in others. So, how do you unwire your buttons?

You unwire your buttons – by becoming a student of your own reactivity.

Remember, it’s not a question of whether or not you’re reactive. It’s a question of how you’re reactive. Everyone is, even when (especially when) they don’t know it.

What’s pushing your buttons these days?

Reactivity buttons can be pushed when you’re:

• Losing control
• Fighting to win
• Fending off attacks
• Seeking approval
• Defending your position
• Delivering bad news
• Receiving bad news

(Note: this is not a complete list. It’s meant to spark your awareness.)

What are relationships or situations that fit the above criteria? What other relationships or situations are currently pushing your buttons?

You can’t work on your reactivity buttons while your being reactive.

Because when you’re in the grip of a reactive pattern, you’re not capable of self-reflection. Reactivity can’t turn around and see itself. Reactivity is automatic, unconscious action, like the singing of a plastic fish.

So, you need to make time – when you’re not reactive – to learn more about your red buttons.

Time to bring the situation gently to mind. And notice your reactions.

Here’s how:

Start by gently bringing the triggering situation/relationship/issue to mind. Don’t dive into thinking about the situation. Just glance at it. Touch it lightly – in your mind. Just enough to trigger the mildest reaction. You don’t want to completely press the red button. You just want to nudge it.

Even tickling your red button will stimulate some reactive tension.

If you’re not paying attention this little hint of tension can precipitate a full-fledged reactivity attack. So, be aware. Keep breathing. And notice the mind’s tendency to start thinking about the person/issue/situation. To replay the drama – in all it’s emotional glory.

It’s exactly at this point – when the reactive drama is about to kick in – that you can unwire your button.

You do this by applying a simple meditative technique.

Step 1: Gently bring the triggering situation to mind

Step 2: Notice where the tension starts in your body.

Step 3: Be aware of the mind’s tendency to start replaying the drama: to think about the issue, mentally re-run the events, imagine what you could/would/should do etc.

Step 4: Let go of the drama. Withdraw your attention from the thinking. And focus only on the bodily sensations.

Step 5: Keep breathing and attend to the bodily sensations that are associated with the situation.

Step 6: Whenever your attention wanders into the drama (the thinking, remembering, planning, etc), bring it back to your body. Breathe and enjoy noticing how the sensations change on their own. The idea is not to suppress the sensations – BUT also not to let them carry you away into mental drama.

Step 7: When you feel a shift in the sensations – take three more slow breaths and then sit quietly for a moment. Notice the over-all feeling in your body.

What does this accomplish?

By practicing this meditation – over time – you become an informed student of your own reactive patterns. You are able to intercept the reactivity at the bodily level – because you know exactly what it feels like. And you develop the capacity to not become carried away by your own reactivity. You simply notice,  “Ah, there’s that tension, “ and you breathe.

You are able to feel the impulse of reactivity without responding.

You witness the pattern at the bodily level. And let go of the mental drama. The more often you do this in the comfort of your own home or office – at times when you’re not reactive – the more quickly you unwire your buttons.

And then, when difficult situations arise in your life and work, you’re able to meet them with balanced awareness and creativity. Not like a plastic fish.

Before a rock band launches into a song, the drummer “counts them in”. That’s what it’s called when the drummer strikes his sticks together and grunts “One-and-Two-and . . .” He’s establishing the beat and kicking the song into gear.

Without that kick-start, the band would be floundering its way into the rhythm of the song.

That’s why you need to “count” yourself into your day – each morning.

You need a way to establish the rhythm of your day. To set the tempo and bring the day into focus before you launch yourself into action. You don’t need drum sticks to do this. You do it through a morning ritual.

Ritual may seem like a strange – even archaic – word.

But, you’ve performed rituals all your life. Whenever you’ve intentionally engaged in a practice in order to establish a new pattern of thought, speech, or action – you’ve been using the power of ritual.

Rituals are different from habits – those patterns of behavior that operate without intention or awareness.  A ritual is any intentional practice that you engage in to put your mind/body/spirit into alignment with – your values, your calling, and your life. Even with Life itself.

The root meaning of ritual – is from the Sanskrit rta meaning “order’

Practicing ritual is a way of bringing your life into order. Not obsessive, lint-picking order. Rather, ritual is a practice for aligning your daily life with the deep, creative, and purposeful direction of your life-as-a-whole.

Ritual is a way of pausing and realizing – this precious moment is part of your life and Life itself.

Through ritual you merge the current of your life stream into a larger current of meaning, purpose, and direction.

This moves you towards greater creativity, higher performance, and deeper fulfillment

Ritual is a way of liberating yourself from distractions, of grounding yourself in the sacred nature of your particular life story. Ritual situates your life’s joys and challenges in a broader – enriching – spiritual context.

Almost any activity can be converted into a ritual.

Even something as commonplace as a greeting can become a ritual. The intentionality you bring to the act of saying, “Good morning” to a colleague – turns what is typically an act of habit into a creative ritual.

Reflexively saying “Good morning” won’t enhance or deepen your relationship.

But saying “good morning” as a ritual can contribute to relationship building. Why? Because you infuse the simple act of greeting with awareness, intention, and creative power. You don’t have to be dramatic in what you do – simply mindful of why and how you are doing it.

The most powerful rituals are initiating rituals.
You know about the power (for good or ill) of first impressions, first dates etc. These “firsts” are initiating rituals that sent in motion a new arc of activity or a new relationship. It’s just like the drummer “counting in” the band. The way you start anything sets a tone, a tempo, a dynamic that tends to persist. Better to start in rhythm.

That’s why a morning ritual is so important.

Everyday can be a new beginning. A new arc of activity. An opportunity to realign the arc of your day with your life’s purpose and direction. Your morning ritual is a way of starting your day intentionally – with body, mind, and soul focused on creating what matters most.

So what is a morning ritual?

It’s a 30 – 60 minute sequence of practices for mind/body/spirit integration that sets the direction of your day. It’s a way of counting in your day, setting the tone and tempo – and grounding your awareness in a place of inner peace and creativity.

What are the elements of a morning ritual?

It involves three M’s:

1. Meditation – a practice of connecting to Spirit, your spiritual center, and the source of creativity within.
2. Movement – a practice for stretching and strengthening, and renewing the body – that is tailored to your physical condition and needs.
3. Mental Prep – a practice of identifying 3 high value actions (an idea I learned from Mark LeBlanc)  that will further your purpose – personally and professionally.

These three simple ingredients can be combined, customized, and tailored in ways that work for you.

How much time you spend on each element can vary depending on your needs at different times in your life. But, these three elements – meditation, movement, and mental preparation are key to a powerful morning ritual. Here’s an overview of each element (for more details – listen to the audios at the link at the end of this article)

Meditation

The practice of meditation quiets the mind, opens the heart, and connects you with an uncontrived, natural inner strength. Meditation increases clarity so that you are aware of outer events and inner states without being overwhelmed or compelled by either.

There are hundreds of ways to practice meditation. The spiritual traditions of the world are rich repositories of methods for steadying attention, stilling thought, and expanding awareness. If you are aligned with a particular spiritual tradition – turn to the great teachers and mystics of your faith. In their teachings you will find guidelines and techniques for developing meditative attention.

The key is to start practicing. Begin by making meditative silence and meditative stillness a part of your morning ritual. Make time every morning– even for only a few moments – to simply breathe and connect with a presence that transcends than your everyday mind.

Movement

The key to incorporating body movement and exercise into your morning ritual is mindfulness. Whatever exercise you choose – do it mindfully. In other words, don’t listen to the radio, TV or any other device. Just be present with the movements of your body and the rhythms of your breath. Let go of competition and striving – rather go deeply into the experience of your body as it works and warms up.

Mental Preparation

What is it that matters most in your work and life? What are three High Value Actions that you can take today to serve, realize, further that which matters most. Keep this process simple and focused. Notice if you think of actions that are highly valuable – but also scary. This is common. And a good sign that you’re onto something important. The most powerful actions are those that cause you to lean into your discomfort. Go for a few each week.

Create a morning ritual.

Because when you want to rock your life – it’s important to count yourself in every morning.

Let me know how this works for you. (And also – what doesn’t work, so we can customize the ritual more precisely).

Here’s a link to some audio tracks about

1. The morning ritual
2. Introduction to meditation
3. A guided meditation

I received this email from a coaching client:

“After our talk I have really been noticing how uncreative my workdays are. “

His comment reminded me of something my grandmother used to say – whenever I was complaining about life not going my way. She’d say, “The truth will set you free,” and then she’d pause before adding, “but first it will make you very uncomfortable.”

Then, she’d laugh.

I didn’t find her insight funny.

Though over the decades, I’ve come to appreciate it more and more. The pathway to greater freedom, creativity, and contribution often passes through Discomfort-ville.

So, if you want to be free of self-limiting patterns of thought, speech, or action – be prepared for the discomfort that comes from increased awareness.

It’s like an ad my son and I saw on T.V. the other night.

It was for some kind of facial hair removal device costing $14.95. And it came with a lighted mirror with 5 times the magnification power of a normal mirror. The whole idea of such an up-close and personal look at my facial pores and hairs sounded . . . well . . . uncomfortable.

It takes awareness to instigate substantive change.

Superficial changes can be implemented without awareness. Band-aid “solutions” can be applied to mask problems. Quick fixes can be instituted to in reaction to unsatisfactory results.

But, in short order, the illusory effects of “rearranging the deck chairs” wears off and you’re left to confront the harsh reality of a sinking ship.

The truth of your situation becomes clear in the light of awareness.

Such clarity, while liberating, can also be embarrassing, disappointing, upsetting, infuriating . . . and basically uncomfortable.

That’s why what happens next, is key to the transformation process.

The tendency is to spring into action.

Do to something, in this case, to make workdays more creative.

You might google “creativity at work” – to mine the insights, tips, and techniques awaiting you on the Internet. You could read an article or book on creative thinking at work; ask a coach or colleague for some ideas on how to get more creative.

In and of themselves, these aren’t bad moves.

It’s just that over focusing on tips and techniques can be a way of avoiding the deeper shifts needed to make substantive and sustainable changes. Deeper shifts rarely come from a list of tips or an instant technique.

Deeper shifts come through deepening awareness.

What I mean by deeper is really simply sustained awareness. Just spend more time paying attention to what is true, rather than seeking ways to fix the problem. Become a deeper, sustained, student of your own habits of mind/speech/body.

The more you truly see what you’re doing – the more clearly you’ll realize “what to do differently”.

New perceptions, new actions, new choices emerge as awareness infuses fully into your mind and body.

You don’t need to think of a new strategy – rather deepen your awareness of the ways in which your mind/body react habitually. When unconscious habits are infused with awareness, they naturally transform. Awareness is the secret to accelerating change.

One of my all-time favorite books on learning and leadership is a slim volume called Extraordinary Golf by Fred Shoemaker.

Now, I don’t play golf. But, his profound wisdom can be applied to any human activity.

Shoemaker points out that most golfers who come to his clinics and programs want to fix the problems in their game and get better. They say, according to Shoemaker, “There’s something wrong with my swing, and I must fix it.”

Shoemaker points out that in order to fix (change) something you have to be aware of it.

He asks rhetorically, “How can you correct what you’re doing when you don’t have any idea what you’re doing?”

It turns out that awareness itself – not techniques or tips – the catalyst of improvement & development.

Understanding this, Shoemaker writes, “The best way to become aware of what you are doing is not to fix it.”

I’d like to offer you that sentence again: “The best way to become aware of what you are doing is not to fix it.”

This is a huge idea. Notice your mind’s reaction to it. Don’t try to change your mind or argue with me. Just notice, be aware of what you’re mind is doing. (Good . . . now you’re already practicing this powerful method of transformative change.)

Premature fixing is a manipulation strategy designed to avoid the discomfort that awareness brings.

But, this very discomfort is the evidence that you’re on the right track. You’re on the track of being aware. So, instead of leaping into action, deepen your awareness. Stop looking for how to change and learn become more fully aware of what’s already present.

To adopt this awareness-based approach to change is counter cultural.

Most (all) of us have been raised in the “fix it”, problem-based culture where the dominant mindset is “find the problem and make it go away”.  The notion that awareness itself  – not techniques and action – will give rise to substantive change seems absurd. It begs the question – “How can I improve what’s wrong if I don’t fix it?”

This question can’t be satisfactorily answered within the framework of the “fix it” culture.

All you can do is notice, for yourself, the difference in results that comes from pursuing tips and techniques versus following the path of awareness.

One of the first things you’ll notice is that the problem-based mindset is fueled by a persistent sense of dis-satisfaction, driven by the perpetual quest for what’s wrong.

The awareness-based method doesn’t look for what’s wrong. Neither does it look for what’s right.

The awareness-based practice is grounded in a non-judgmental – yet highly discerning mindset.

Awareness is non-judgmental. It’s like sunlight – illuminating the roses and weeds equally. But, this is not to say that awareness is non-discriminating. Awareness illuminates what is true without judgment and allows you to make finer and deeper distinctions. Rather than being preoccupied with judgment, your attention is freed and can notice possibilities. Possibilities for new ways of thinking, speaking, and taking action.

Again, don’t be in a hurry for a solution.

Don’t rush towards an answer. Rather, rest in the awareness of what you’re actually doing.

For my client who is experiencing his days as “uncreative” the practice is to notice:

• What the experience of “uncreative” feels like in the body.
• What are the external conditions that trigger the experience of “uncreative”?
• What are the thoughts that immediately precede the experience of “uncreative”?
• When the mind determines that “I’m feeling uncreative” – what happens next? How does the mind react to this feeling?

You can substitute any other “negative” experience in the place of uncreative and try this for yourself.

Creativity is not a product of the fix-it mindset.

Neither is transformational change.

Creativity comes from a different, more appreciative, open, and even playful orientation. One that is interested, curious, and engaged in the moment to moment activities that are unfolding. The fastest path to creativity (and change) is to let go of the need to change and instead to cultivate awareness of what is true.

This takes getting used to.

Fortunately, people around the world have been working on ways to cultivate this kind non-judgmental, discerning awareness for thousands of years. You can too. The best way is to take time each day and to practice being fully aware. You can attend to your breathing – not trying to improve it, but simply deepening your awareness of the breathing mechanism as it operates.

You can do this while walking – attending to the movement of your limbs, the touch of your feet on the ground, the rhythm of your breath.

You can cultivate awareness while performing any simple manual task.

Washing dishes, chopping vegetables, pressing the elevator button, brushing your teeth, and folding clothing are good examples.

By cultivating awareness in activities that are simple and “unimportant” – you build your capacity to practice awareness-based change with behaviors, habits, and situations that are more “important” and demanding.

You’ll see the truth and it will, in it’s own time, reveal the path to freedom. Of course, it will probably make you uncomfortable first.

And my grandmother will still be laughing.

• What do you think about problem-based versus awareness-based change?
• What’s your experience with awareness-based change?
• Where might you start experimenting with this approach?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Almost three decades ago I was talking with a senior executive about the value of building shared vision with his team and stakeholders. He held up his hand, “I’ve already been through the vision process with my team.”

I was interested and asked him to share the vision with me. He turned away and shuffled through the files in his desk drawer. Then, he called his administrative assistant and asked, “Jessie, where do we keep those vision materials?”

It’s a good question.

Where do you keep your vision? Is it hidden away somewhere where you can’t find it? Is it a document that resides in a file (even an electronic one) that requires serious hunting to uncover? Or is it ever-present in your awareness?

The word vision may be overused.

How about dream? What’s your dream? And where do you keep your dream? Is it hidden away in the back of your mind? Or is it right there in your everyday awareness, shaping and informing your choices?

It’s safer to keep your dream in a file.

It stays “pure” and untouched. To bring your dream out into the world is messy. It’s gritty. It’s gutsy and real. The interaction of your dream with the realities of day-to-day life will transform you and your dream. The world – your team, your customers, and your competitors – will all get their hands on your dream. And, if you’re open, will help you shape it into something that serves all of you.

Questions for Reflection & Action:

• So, what’s your next step in bringing your dream out into the world?
• What’s a small step that you can take today to bring your dream to life?

Click here to view the embedded video.

The concept of terroir suggests that the wine, the vegetables, even the meat grown in a specific region will have the taste of that region’s soil.

The discerning palate can distinguish the unique flavors, can taste the dirt, the good earth, from which that wine or wheat has sprung.

Even when the vegetable has been cooked and seasoned – the taste of the soil is present. Even when the wheat has been crushed and baked – the discerning palate can taste the good earth in which it grew.

The same principle applies to human communication.

Consider this: Behind every action and communication is a positive intent. Quite a concept! When I first heard this idea, I was stunned. But, I have discovered how useful an idea this is in my work with thousands of leaders and managers.

Just as an untrained palate cannot taste the good earth in a piece of bread, the untrained mind cannot discern the positive intention behind every action or communication. It’s particularly challenging when the person you’re interacting with is emotional, antagonistic, and challenging.

Their emotionality tends to trigger your emotionality.

Their reactivity tends to aggravate your reactivity. Their strongly held opinions tend to strengthen your own point of view.

It’s a natural, neurological reaction.

Modern neuroscience points out that our brains are highly responsive to others emotions. When important or powerful people around us are in a highly emotional state, it tends to evoke a complementary state in us. In short, their anger ignites your anger.

It takes a trained mind to stay balanced, present, and focused in the presence of reactivity.

A trained mind is a mind of equanimity. This is a mind that is able to receive others emotionality without being overwhelmed. Such a mind can move deeper than the surface presentation (no matter how dramatic) and “taste the good earth”, discern the positive intentions that lie at the heart of the other person’s soul. And in so doing begin to evoke that state of goodness from the other person.

The trained mind is a strong mind.

It is strongly rooted in its own good earth. Strongly connected to a place of inner authority and inner peace. It is strong enough to not need to defend and thus rather than amplify the emotionality that is already present, such a mind infuses the situation with mindful presence.

How do you develop such a mind?

By taking time each day to return to the good earth within. You do this by incorporating a regular (daily) practice of meditation into your schedule.

By regularly returning to the good earth – the Ground of Being – within, your mind naturally begins to rest more and more in inner stability.

Thus, when conditions around you become unstable, rather than react, you can meet these conditions openly and without defense. This allows you to taste the good earth, the positive intentions in others. Then every moment becomes a sacred meal – a way to receive and share nourishment as you create what matters most in your life. Bon Appetit!!