When I was six years old I loved Roy Rogers. I wanted to be a cowboy. I longed to sleep out on the range. But, I lived in New York City. In an apartment. So, in lieu of nights under the stars, my mother let me set up a tent and “camp out” on the living room.

The hardwood living room floor was uncomfortable.
But, that very uncomfortable-ness was very satisfying. Whenever I felt my bones rubbing against the hard floor, I knew I was getting closer to being a cowboy.

What does sleeping on hardwood have to do with leading change – for yourself or others?

Leading change is a learning process.
And all learning includes uncomfortable moments.
When you’re learning a new way of being in the world, it’s inevitable that you’ll be clumsy at first. You’re out of your depths. Your nervous system is working hard to wire in the new way of thinking and acting.

Whenever you take on a new job, new project, or a new team – you won’t have mastered the new work on day one. You’re at the base of a learning curve. And walking your way up will include some stumbling. But, it’s not the stumbling that makes you uncomfortable.

Stumbling and bumbling doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable.
In fact, it can be very satisfying.
It’s your interpretation that counts. When I rolled over onto the hardwood floor and bruised my hipbone – I took that as a sign of progress. I was that much closer to being a cowboy.

What makes being uncomfortable satisfying?
When you recognize that the discomfort is taking you closer to your goal.
When you understand that the discomfort is the signal that your neurology working intensely to build new patterns of expertise. Then, you’ll gladly lean into your discomfort.

You’ll seek out experiences and opportunities where you can lean into your discomfort.
Not simply to feel the hardwood rubbing against your ribs. But, because you want to grow, learn, and develop. The opportunities abound. Think about a conversation or a meeting that you know you’re going to have in the next three days. Pick one that is important. That will take both courage and skill on your part if it is to go well.

Then, let yourself sense the emotions that start swirling in your body.
Because, you neurology doesn’t distinguish between being in that meeting and thinking about it. So, you can start to lean into your discomfort well before you walk through the door.

Explore, in your creative imagination, what it would look like for you to show up in that meeting with just a bit more courage.
Consider what would be a worthwhile risk to take. Push yourself just a bit. Lean into your discomfort and let your nervous system experience a new way of envisioning yourself in that situation.

You can do this in 60 seconds.
A few times a day. Just lean into your discomfort – in the privacy of your own mind. Then, try it in the meeting.

Remember, the idea is to lean into your discomfort.
Not to radically transform yourself overnight. Learning doesn’t happen that way. You build mastery incrementally. By leaning not leaping.

I’m still not a full-fledged cowboy, after all.

Related posts:

1. Are You Changing the Culture?
2. Don’t mistake silence for consensus
3. Are you being risky or reckless?
4. The Secret to Behavior Change – Part 2
5. The Secret to Behavior Change – Part 1